Robert mugabe funny quotes: 12 of the funniest and craziest

It’s never a dull moment with the craziest leader in Southern Africa, Robert mugabe funny quotes. And we use the term leader relatively, because we don’t have much left to cross the border. Check out some of the craziest quotes from spyreporters.

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Always aware of the news, but not in his home country, Batty Bob had a few words for the protesters. Rhodes must fall

South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.

Nobody’s ever going to accuse the man of being egalitarian…

Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum & you realise witchcraft is real

We repeat… nobody!

It is not possible for women to be on par with men.

But of course, it’s all there, someone just needs to stack the shelves.

Our economy is a hundred times better, than the average African economy. Outside South Africa, what country is Zimbabwe? … What is lacking now are goods on the shelves—that is all.

Nope, you’re termed dictator because you purposefully murdered 20 000 of your own people to become president.

Mr Bush, Mr. Blair and now Mr Brown’s sense of human rights precludes our people’s right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neo-colonialists.

Well, that says it all, really.

The white man is not indigenous to Africa. Africa is for Africans. Zimbabwe is for Zimbabweans…The white man is here as a second citizen. The only man you can trust is a dead white man.

He clearly also tells jokes.

I am an educationist. I’m an economist. I am a politician. I am also now a good storyteller, you know?

Don’t you dare accuse batty Bob of being pro-human rights.

If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country, he must come here so that I marry him first.

Who writes this man’s speeches?

It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days because each time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

Oh, don’t forget the ego… it transcends even the world’s largest religion.

I have died many times. I have actually beaten Jesus Christ because he only died once.

Suppose it depends whether you’re looking ahead or in the rear-view mirror.

We pride ourselves as being top, really, on the African ladder… We feel that we have actually been advancing rather than going backwards.

When he realised nobody wants to sit with him anymore.

Stay with us, please remain in this country and constitute a nation based on national unity.